sometimes i think i lost my only chance. out of all of them, he was the one i thought i loved. i abused him all the same. i wish i could've left things as is, but i was never satisfied. i remember all the times we went to the coffee shop. i remember evry single time we sat and talked for hours about nothing. i remember how strong our friendship grew, and then how it all shattered in the second that i spoke words without thinking. i knew i should have kept my mouth shut. i go on, pretending like it's nothing, but it's a huge deal. i've kept all my emotions inside, unlike everyone around me. you, for example. you are so in touch with yourself (sometimes to the point of benig annoying) and i envy that. i wish i could identify what i feel, and express it. maybe then, i never would have lost him.